A nap in vision

Hi Rose

12 Feb 2018;

I miss YOU, As usual, and a lot more.

I was at the tea shop, holding the tea in right hand and mobile on the left and a vision in my eyes. It was almost dark, but people around me, giggling, chatting and chuckling on their own jokes, were clear to sight. Soon, I heard a voice, “Jack, oye Jack” and I turned. I saw a girl, just like a shadow as she was standing in front of a light. For the moment, I thought to run away. “How could a fairy get a first good impression of a boy, dressed dirty, without shaving and no bath since two days.” I kept my eyes wide open as I didn’t want a single moment to be skipped while my eyes flap even for a flash of a second.

It was she, at my back, pushing me lovingly, “go Jack go.” I felt her Hands on my back, the soft and tender hands. I felt the laugh she made like she always does after pushing me at the moment when I get frightened. She was sending me to real herself, standing 20-foot ahead of me, waving hand so that I can spot her. Her presence with me, her smiles and talks were more real than real she standing a little away, and this was the greatest paradox of my life to understand the sensation of love.

Each of my step towards her was like several successive achievements. The applause she was giving at my back was like, the whole world has stopped and is waiting for me to reach her. Saying honestly, that was the first time in my life, I felt like stopping caring for the whole world and the things happening around me. She was 10-foot away, she was saying something as I saw her lips moving but I was still hearing she, who was standing behind me and putting confidence. This was the first glance of her, ’milky white skin, just like a fairy of the dream, beautiful and sharp eyes, and thin tender lips fluttering’, as a bike headlight put a flash on her just for few seconds, behind from me.

“I won’t hug her or touch her, I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable at the first meet.” She, from the back, hugged me and said, “its ok you can hug her”, but this hug of her was so real because she was standing in front of me. I never knew that falling in love would make me a real person, living and feeling each moment. It was she, who modified me, just in a few seconds.

She was just 5-foot ahead; I was to touch her. I felt like someone coming out of me like a wave. Oops, it is me, I rushed to her, hugged her strongly, very strongly, strongly enough to mix two different souls forever. I felt her grown hair on my cheeks, my hand around her shoulder and my ears on her soft cheeks. She just smiled. I touched her hairs, forehead, eyebrows, eyes, cheeks and hold for some moment to capture her for that moment. I didn’t want to miss any of her curves on her face, so precious was that moment and she with the smile. A little later I realized, she wasn’t responding to me and I turned back and show my real self about to shake hand with her real she. Everything just became still for the moment and she spoke, “Sir is taking the class, so we have to hurry up.”  I saw her, sorry I stared at her like I have never seen a girl, and it was true, I hadn’t seen a girl like her before. She was the best art of God filled with beauty, energy and sharpness.

No path was visible; I was walking on the road but I felt like walking on flower heading towards the heaven. Suddenly I felt like losing her, I started feeling like our paths were diverging. I asked her to hold on, I wanted to ask sorry for hurting her in past. I wanted to say to her that losing all for her was worthy, but that I realized after meeting her. I wanted to say that, I will do all it takes to undo my mistakes. I wanted to say how much I love her. But she just disappeared on the corner of the path. I started to feel warm tears falling on my hand, and it went on becoming warmer and warmer. I felt the vibration of fear in my body, the fear to lose her and soon I realized that it was the cup of the tea I was holding in my right hand, at the tea stall and it was her call on my phone vibrating so high. I couldn’t drink the tea, my neck was chocked and eyes were full of water about to fall. I realized that I do remember all the moments of our first meet. I left the filled cup of tea on the table and walked away in the darkness, to be alone for some moment even without my shadow.  

I love you

Jack